The Ultimate Guide To Life ~Demimoz Keroz

Ladies and gentlemen!
Boys and ghouls!
Step right up!
Behind this curtain lies a gorgeous concoction of...
Money! Women! Riches and Love!
Your every wish will come true!
Your every whimsical desire will be brought to life!
But I'm warning you...
There's always a price!
Welcome to the greatest guide unearthed!
​

That was a proper introduction. Now let's get to the point, shall we? The ultimate solution to any problems a man could have is... Money. Yes, my dear. Money. You heard that right. For example, people seek love. And the easiest way to gain the almighty pussy is by being rich. Money gives you food. Money gives you a roof over your head. Money gives you every joy of this mortal life, and that's a fact. You might ask- How do I get this "money" you are talking about? Simple minded will tell you that the source of money is hard work. It's a lie. And now, 5 simple steps to gain money!

1. Be a jew.

...​

Goddamit, that's the only step. Well, if you don't want to become a jew, you have another way.

1. Lie.
2. Steal.
3. Decieve.
4. Invest.
5. Profit.​

If you follow these simple steps, your life will be a paradise. Or not. You probably shouldn't listen to life advices of somebody who isn't alive. I thought this guide will be longer. Dammit. OH! I know! There is one, simpe way to be eternally happy!

Kill yourself.​

Love,
your uncle Demimoz.

P.S.
Don't forget to visit me when you're in hell.

 

So in summary, just drop it, it is inevitable what the future will hold?

 

you should order a big McFuckingKillYourself, with complimentary cyanide.
that last step was pretty good tho. embrace the eternal reward.