A tale of a madman who wanted to be a moderator.

Discussion in 'Forum Moderator Applications' started by Demimoz Keroz, Jan 30, 2016.

  1. Demimoz Keroz

    Demimoz Keroz Well-Known Member

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    Let me tell you a story. It's called: "Men, Thilians and Machines: A tale of a madman who wanted to be a moderator". That's a long title, isn't it? Who wrote that thing... Ah, yes. I did. So let's cut the introduction, and get right into action.

    It's year 20XX.
    A young man named Demimoz Keroz was wandering in the Red Wastelands, when suddenly a ghostly figure appeared before him.


    "You have searched and searched, but you found nothing. It's not important who I am. It's not important who you are either. What you seek is hidden on a drifting continent known as Zerahypt. But beware, it's the land of the Great Cricket God."

    Demimoz was shocked, but he did as the ghost said. He teleported from planet Poland, to an unknown land, called Terrahypt. He was lost and scared, yet he was determined to uncover the mysteries of Zerahypt Forum- the society of Cricket's followers. He traveled for days, without any directions. Finally, a scout vessel found him, and transported him to the capital. He was fascinated by the things he saw. The air was filled with upbeat music. Streets were filled with many friendly creatures, men, thilians and machines alike. He quickly made some friends, and worked hard to get some recognition. As soon as he got preety well-known, he started helping outsiders to get around the city. He also became a loyal follower of the Cricket God himself. One day, someone told him he should become a Royal Guard, commonly known as a Moderator. He agreed, and travelled to the palace. He was frightened. He has never been a Moderator in his life, yet he knew the responsibility that comes with it. He knew, it's his destiny to serve as a Royal Guard. Inside the palace, he met the Leader of the Royal Guards- Administrator Magiichan. The trial has begun.

    -You wish to become a Moderator?

    -Yes, my lord.

    -You know what it means to be one?

    -Yes, my lord.

    -Then, I shall ask you some questions, and your answers will determine if you passed the trial or not. First question: A member is complaining about something on the Shoutbox. What would you do?

    -I immediately try to help the one in need, no matter what their problem is, and if I can't, I show him who can solve his problem.

    -Second question: A member is trolling on the forums. Doesn't stop after several warnings. What would you do?

    -If it is a serious problem, and he doesn't want to repent, i will call the aid of the mighty Ban Hammer.

    -Third question: You have recently banned someone for breaking too many rules. A super moderator unbans them for an unknown reason to you. What would you do?

    -I immediately contact the one that unbanned the criminal, to explain why he was banned, and to ask him why he unbanned the criminal. If the reason was illogical and/or selfish, I contact higher autorities, to tell them that he's not doing his duties properly.

    -Fourth question: A member has been banned recently by yourself or another forum moderator, but keeps on making accounts to spam the Shoutbox with even after you ban 3 or 4 accounts. What do you do?

    -If persuasion doesn't work, I think there is an option to ban IP adress. And if there isn't, I would KILL HIM, SLAUGHTER HIS FAMILY AND BURN HIS HOUSE TO THE GROUND.

    -I see, now, the fifth question: Two users on the shoutbox are arguing over something and both try to get you on their side. What do you do and how do you settle the fight so it won't spark back up in the future?

    -I would try to make this fight into a joke, and if it doesn't work, I would contact them personally, and calm them down. If that doesn't work, I would send them a warning. And if that doesn't work- Ban Hammer. The mighty Ban Hammer is a last resort weapon. Except for Bots. I would purge all of them if I could.

    -Tell me, how many times will you check the situation?

    -At least three times a day. Probably more.


    -Thank you for answering my questions. I will take your applicaton to the Council. One last thing. You will be contacted via Skype. May I ask your Skype name?

    -It's "demimoz1", my lord.

    -Great. Dissmissed. Await my response.

    And that my child, is where the story cuts. You'll have to wait untill the next episode comes out. Sleep well.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
    Azai and FonkDerok like this.
  2. BeardyBroski

    BeardyBroski Active Member

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    I want this fellow to become the moddiest of rators.
     
  3. FonkDerok

    FonkDerok Insane Furfag in a Position of Power

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    This is beautiful
     
  4. Felix

    Felix Member

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    So this is the story you were talking about. Very... elaborate. Yeah. That's the word I'll use for it.
     
  5. GSungazer

    GSungazer Well-Known Member

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    Why aren't you a moderator already?
     
  6. That CL Guy

    That CL Guy Well-Known Member

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    He didn't follow the correct format...

    Which is lol